is your mom at the bar?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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