K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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