He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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