3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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