grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
