I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
