i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
