Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
