You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
