I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Randomize
