Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
