YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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