So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
