don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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