took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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