who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
you had me at cake vodka
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
