I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
