arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
