you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
