he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
