About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
high people should be assigned attendants
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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