On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
