i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
