whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
