omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Randomize
