Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I need water and some morals
dude. I can hear the air.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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