he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
