last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
