I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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