so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
