dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
