Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
