No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
