you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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