Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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