Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
