I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
