ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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