Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize