Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize