we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize