The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
if only i could text you this smell
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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