Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
