the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
