i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
We need to get me chipped asap
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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