i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
