I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Randomize
