You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
