Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
