So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Randomize
