Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
