hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
