It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
