She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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