with your own penis?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
