i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
