i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
