If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
