i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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