tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I don't think brook has ever known best
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
