I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize